We Had a Baby!!!

Can you believe it?!?

Rex Matthew Truebe was born on Saturday, March 12^th, 2016 at 3:08pm. He clocked in at 7 lbs 0.8 oz and 19 inches - and he came out with quite the mop of wild hair on his perfect little head! 

Seriously... love at first sight. I was a mess!

Disclaimer: I started writing this post last week… and had not been able to continue writing/finish it until today – so it’s a little disjointed. My apologies!

3/30/16

First of all -- holy cow… I can’t believe it’s been 18 days since he arrived – it feels like a total blur! We can’t say thank you enough to all of our friends and family for the congrats, gifts, well wishes, visits, etc. Today is the first official FULL day that I am home with Rex by myself. Adam has been able to take a good portion of his paternity leave the last couple of weeks, which has been really great to have him here and tag-teaming the needs of a newborn. I’ve also been lucky enough to have my mom and Adam's mom come up and spend a few days with us as we adjust to being on maternity leave and figuring out how to make our little dude happy, healthy and content. Rexy is currently snoozin’ in his car seat – we had a weight check at the doctor’s office this morning – and I’ve been told and learned in my short time as a parent that it’s wise to leave the kiddo wherever he is when sleep comes along. I did unstrap him though – in my adult, claustrophobic opinion, those damn things seem way too tight!

The day we brought him home... I was both elated and terrified. 

I’ve got so much to tell you guys – but I know I won't be able to get it all out here and now. Hopefully, I'll see all of you soon and give you the full scoop on the big day and life as we know it since. For now, I’ll start with letting you know that Rex is doing really well! And since I mentioned the weight check – he’s gaining the lbs/oz he needs to so far…  it’s apparently normal for babies to lose a little weight after being born as their bodies adjust to being on the outside – but he’s back up/exceeded his birth weight at this point, and he’s getting taller! 7 lbs 4 oz and 21 inches today – woo! Weight is kind of a big deal for newborns, especially since I’m exclusively breastfeeding, because in addition to the tracking of diapers, it is important to constantly gauge that he’s getting enough to eat from my boobs J And thankfully, all signs are indicating that he’s doing just fine!

I've been celebrating his weekly birthday at 3:08pm every Saturday. #obsessed

So, speaking of breastfeeding… FACT: it’s REALLY hard. I did everything I could to educate and prep myself for how it would be when the baby arrived – but there’s really nothing that you can do to prepare for the huge, exhausting, stressful, yet amazing and proud commitment/phenomenon that is nursing. The fact that my body not only housed the little guy for 9 months and grew him until 1 day before he was slated to arrive – but it also knows to produce life-sustaining milk to keep him healthy and growing is crazy… right? The first few days were super tough – but it gets a little bit better and easier each day. And it’s caused for a few hilarious moments that I have to laugh at… 1) Rex is a hungry little beast – he has NEVER rejected the boob. I think he’d eat even if he was plum full to the max – I often have to cut him off because he overeats so much that he hiccups on the daily and has started spitting up. Adam has joked that he’s already got a little bit of the former fat kid that he was in him J; 2) Because of his craziness/love for the boob, he often like fights me to hold onto it himself… his little hands/arms sort of grip the boob and resist me trying to move or adjust him because I think he’s afraid that he’s not going to be able to eat. Like he’s saying “No, its mine!” Ha ha…  He also gets so crazy/mad/excited when I’m prepping to feed him that when I lie him on my legs and start pulling up my shirt, he often kicks me in he nipples – and I’m telling you, that hurts really bad! They’re already sore as all get-out and then they’re being abused by tiny, little newborn feet… it’s really just not fair. 3) Finally, as if the entire labor and delivery process wasn’t body-and-soul-baring enough, I basically have lost almost every ounce of prudishness that I once had with what is required of my upper half in breastfeeding. And most of you may know that I have always been quite the insecure weirdo about my tatas! But the frequency with which he needs to eat (every 1-2 hours) and the tasks that are required to make sure they are maintained and cared for properly (air-drying and nipple cream) requires a lot of free-boobin’ it.  I’m pretty sure Adam doesn’t know what to think! And I honestly don’t even care… I’ve already had to run to the bathroom and whip out a boob “in public” for Rex the last time we went to the doctor, too – it’s just a fact of my new life.

But it does remain a constant, stressful guessing game – I’ve been researching questions, advice, guidelines, etc. many a night as I sit up feeding him… The latest tip that made me chuckle advises that you not look the baby in they eye when you’re feeding him at night. Apparently, that will stimulate him and cause for him to stay awake vs. going right back to sleep – which I totally get – but you should see me at 2:30am when I’m changing his diaper before feeding him and trying to soothe him by avoiding his eyes and literally talking to his belly. Ridiculous! I’m really looking forward to the ~6 week timeframe – that seems to be the benchmark with which most say I should really feel like I have the hang of it and it gets easier. Here’s hopin’!

Talking to him about how it's not nice to kick mom in the nipples... ha!
Photo cred: Kelli Wessels - thanks, gf!

Pretty accurate depiction of life right now: while I have to lecture about nipple kicking -
Adam gets to pleasantly nap with him. :) But that's so damn cute, my heart almost burst. 

4/7/16

Let’s see… I’ll give you guys the highlights of what’s happening these days: It’s very common for little boys, and probably just a sign of what’s to come with the likely grossness that I’ll have to endure in raising a young man – but Rex has mastered the art of peeing and pooping on us. And please answer me this - why does it always happen in the dead of the night? That act always requires an outfit change, obviously – and he hates being cold/naked, so he really lets us have it when we have to strip him down after he was just all cuddled, warm and cozy. And I don’t know that there’s anything more jarring than a baby screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night.  I was pretty proud of myself on Day 7 (and I even logged this in my journal) – but that was the first time I managed to change a very dirty diaper solo in the wee hours of the morning (pun intended), didn’t get peed on or get poop on his clothes, and I was even able to carry him with me to the bathroom and one-handed, successfully figure out a way to pee myself and wash my hands without making him scream. Mom/Annie for the win!

My bright-eyed boy!

Another highlight… is the Murph. I hate to potentially jinx it – but honestly, I’m so proud of him. He’s handling this major life change so well! Granted, the first night – he did not know what to do… Rex was crying/screaming, and I’m pretty sure Murph was on the verge of his own anxiety attack with trying to process what that thing was and what kind of noises it was making… he even started high-pitched cry-barking and frantically following us from room to room as Adam and I scrambled to figure out what Rex needed… like he was saying to us: “You guys – help that thing! There’s something wrong with it!” Haha… but since Night 1, old man Murph just seems to take it in stride. He does stir a bit when Rex cries at night and I get up to tend to him… but typically goes right back to sleep. He’s used to it now. And he’ll come over and sit right next to us on the couch during the day; he licks Rex’s head and hands – and I truly feel like they’ll be pals in the near future. Especially when Rex can throw the ball for him or give him food. Of course, he’s jealous – and you can tell when we talk to Rex, he looks at us with a heart-breaking sad face. But, Adam and I are both dedicated to making sure he is assured that we love him just as much as we did before, and he will continue having a wonderful life with us for his remaining years. The only outstanding issue that drives me nuts, but I know I need to accept it – is his barking. Luckily, Rex grew for 9 months listening to that nonsense – so it doesn’t really phase him very much… but we have had a few instances where I just got him down for a nap and then the damn mailman starts coming around the neighborhood, which causes Murph to lose his mind – and wouldn’t you know it… soon after, I hear little Rexy stirring from him crib. Dammit, Murphy!!

Yes, I forced this photo op - as you can tell from Murph's tortured expression.
But really - they're gonna be besties.

More accurate moment - Rex looking super grouchy and Murph trying to get in on the cuddle action.
Again - so cute - heart = bursting. 

Something else that Rex got used to hearing while in the womb is my constant singing/jamming/Pandora addiction… so I’ve started using that to my advantage. Now, I do NOT have a good voice – but by God, he seems to like it (I am his mother, after all), so I keep the tunes on during the day a lot and sing to him often. However, we’re not talking lullabies and instrumentals (although we do play those sometimes too… when we’re desperate) – I typically just belt out whatever comes up in rotation on the shuffle. He currently seems to really like my Ace of Base, anything 90s country and Miranda Lambert. We even had the Pandora going up until the moments before he was born in the hospital… while I was in early labor, we played the Ray LaMontagne station (attempting to keep me calm during real contractions, which I understand now are SEVERELY different than the Braxton Hicks that I had been experiencing for weeks before), and I had Adam put it back on the Shuffle when I was pushing since there were breaks/silences in between contractions. I distinctly remember hearing “Heaven Is a Place on Earth” by Belinda Carlisle as the end was nearing… I’m telling you, this kid is going to have a deep and eclectic appreciation for music if it’s the last thing I do!

See. if that's not the look of an adorable Grumpus, I don't know what is...
In fact, he was being pleasant that morning - looks can be deceiving!

 I’m sure this is the most scattered post I’ve ever written, and I’m sorry – hopefully, future excerpts will be more concise and informative… as I mentioned, the last 3.5 weeks really have been a massive blur, and I’m quite sleep-deprived – but I’m also the happiest and most exhausted I’ve ever been. We had a great experience at the Muscatine Hospital and one of the things that they are very diligent about informing both Adam and I about and checking into frequently is post-partum depression. I’m very fortunate that I have not experienced those feelings, but I can understand how that can happen with the crazy range and impact of hormones and emotions that hit you after giving birth. There have been days where I feel so overwhelmed, worthless and stressed that I don’t know what to do… but I keep going. Evenings give me a lot of anxiety, because the witching hour for Rex right now seems to be from 6-9pm or so… and nothing we do seems to calm him during that time. And then there are other moments when I just sit there and look at him and start bawling because I’m so happy and can’t believe that he’s here and that we made him and he’s ours to keep and raise up. It’s very humbling how grateful I am… and even though it’s really hard sometimes, and I know we’re just getting started – I thank God every day, multiple times a day.

He's getting used to me just strapping him in and carrying him around...



One of our first family walk adventures...

We bathe him in the sink on this awesome sunflower cushion - and it's hit or miss if he likes it... statistically - he likes the warm water. Hates the aftermath/lotion process. I totally agree with him.

Becoming more active and alert every day!

He seriously has the wildest hair - and I love it. It sticks straight up! It's long enough to lie down... it just doesn't. 
And I think it's turning a little strawberry :)

Now – I’m conscientious of the fact that not everyone cares or will be as obsessed with Rex as I am…  So – I’m trying to practice some restraint on social media, texting photos and Snapchatting – but I sincerely can’t wait for all of you to meet him!  Just know that I’ll also be secretly nervous/wishing/hoping/praying that he is in a good mood and not enduring a growth spurt when that time comes so that I don’t have to flash you my boobs. J

One of the adorable pics from Rex's photo shoot a couple weeks ago...

We got in a few of the shots... Adam was hating his life.
I love that Rexy's eyes are open in this one though!

And this one... just stop it. Bestill my heart. 

More to come!! And hopefully, it won’t take me so long – but I can’t make any promises.

Much love to all of you! 

Baby Watch 2016: Maxed Out

March 7, 2016

Quick update on #truebetykebabywatch2016: clearly, we don't have one yet. Ha!

When you can't stay away from the bean dip at trivia night... #spillage. Adam also decided to point out to everyone at the table that I put down 8 Girl Scout cookies. I wanted to punch him in the face. 

To say that Adam is anxious and ready for him or her to get here is the probably the biggest understatement of the year... and me too, of course. But I keep trying to put everything in perspective. Why would I want to rush the kid? I HATE being rushed... Adam knows this. Now, I'm not the shiniest example of a punctual person - and admittedly don't always estimate appropriately as to how long it takes me to get to places and do certain things - so it's only fair that I let Baby T take his or her sweet time... right?

Also, why am I sitting here wishing upon every star that 12+ hours of severe pain get started? That's straight up masochism! Up to this point, I really am doing alright. Now, I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow or next week. And granted,  I admit that I am uncomfortable and tired a lot - sleeping is tough, I can't get up and down very easy, and my back is really achin' - but for the most part, I'm feeling pretty good, physically. We've even ventured out on a few decent walks the last few days since the weather has improved. So, I'm not desperate... YET.

I was able to get some video of the baby moving... so cool. 

What it comes down to is that we have ZERO control over when this thing's really gonna go down - and that's a frustrating and freaky notion. It could be tomorrow or it could be 2 weeks from now (terrifying), which I've heard is the latest they'll let someone go past their due date. We actually thought we were having some action two Fridays ago... I had pretty regular, pretty powerful Braxton Hicks contractions, combined with nausea, for almost 4 hours straight, every 7-8 minutes. But they weren't unbearably painful - and we're both on board with trying to stay at home and labor in the comforts of my sweatpants vs. the crinkly paper gown for as long as possible before we head into the hospital - so in doing so, we waited them out and the contractions eventually subsided. I've had frequent BH for over 2 weeks now, as well - and the baby has dropped, according to both the doctor and general audience consensus (Lena) - so progress is being made... it just seems like predicting when labor will actually begin is the biggest mystery of the natural world - EVERYONE has a different experience, so there's absolutely no way to figure out what my story will be.

Seriously... MAXED.

Regardless, I hope and pray that my story will be a good one! I've been joking the last few days that I'm just sure since I've said throughout the entire pregnancy that I'd prefer he or she not join us on MY birthday, which is this Thursday, March 10th - of course that's when it's gonna happen... why wouldn't it?? I realize that sounds totally selfish... I know... babies are a gift - I completely agree; I'd just like to have people remember to give ME gifts for the remainder of my years, too :) I love birthdays! So, I've come to accept it - if it's gonna be within the span of a few days, it might as well be smack dab on my day, and then I can hold it over my kid for the rest of his or her life, right? Hahaha... I'm kidding.

My latest Etsy purchase - he was literally on patrol as I was snapping the pic.

The really tough part for me right now is that I don't think I have the capacity to plan, read, absorb or ingest any further information, advice or tips about how to give birth or care for a newborn at this point. I am MAXED out - both in my belly and in my brain! And figuring out how to work with the chance that I might be "out-of-office" any given day is difficult, too... especially when there are due dates or deadlines that I know for sure will be happening while I'm on maternity leave. It's super hard to work up motivation to care, at this point... I AM just READY.

We ventured out last weekend for one more "date night" - live bluegrass music at the local art gallery... it was great!
1) People were super nice 'cause we were the youngest folks there and 2) I've already mentioned how people are just more pleasant to pregnant chicks. 

I mean really... we've been patiently waiting for 274 days/39 weeks/9 months to get this kid in our arms. We're at the stage where we talk about (and I worry about) things like what he or she will look like, how we're going to handle his or her future sports schedule, and what we hope he or she inherits from each of us. Adam asked me the other night... "What if he or she is ugly?" I responded - "We're not even gonna know it if he or she is! We'll be so obsessed with the kid that he or she will be the most amazing, gorgeous, perfect baby that was ever born!" And that's truly how I feel.

The delicious, carb-tastic dinner Adam made for me last Saturday... I even enjoyed a few sips of vino.
This bun is finished bakin' - I figured that would be okay. 

What has been awesome and has made me feel so loved are how many friends, family, neighbors and co-workers have been checking in on me... I think that only further elevates my hopes that I'll have some good news to share soon!

Please hang tight along with us, my friends... and please kindly send along vibes of patience! :)

XOXO

The final touches...

LAST DANCE...

February 23, 2016

Holy cannoli, you guys… we are less than 20 days from D-Day!!

After a very hectic month, I have finally settled in for what I’m affectionately calling my impending 3-month “hibernation” -- and our massive to-do list fluctuates with each day. Seriously, every time I cross something off, I remember something else or read about another “absolute-must” task that expectant parents should accomplish pre-baby. It’s freakin’ exhausting! I feel like I do have a mild-to-medium case of baby brain (which is forgetfulness for my non-pregs pals), so I take notes and make lists like it’s my part-time job – and coincidentally, I have totally separate, but daunting, to-do lists to accomplish at my actual job, too – so writing things down to ensure I remember them is super crucial these days. Highest on the priority list: I’ve been working on packing my damn hospital bag for several weeks now (still not totally done), and if I ask Adam one more time about installing the car seat bases, I think he might leave and never come back.

Speaking of that poor guy – he came down with a stomach virus over the weekend, and I don’t think I’ve seen him so sick in years… so, of course the super pregnant, albeit super stubborn, person that I am – I kicked it into high gear on Saturday-Sunday this weekend and got a TON of stuff done myself! And likely overdid it because the last few nights and mornings, my body has been so sore and achy that I can barely roll out of bed. That’s how it happens now too – I have to start kind of rocking back and forth to get the momentum going -- there are zero ab muscles left to crunch up into sitting position. Tear.

And I will not try and act like I wasn’t just a LITTLE bit annoyed at Adam’s turn for the worse… 37 weeks pregnant should really be all about ME, am I right?? Diva alert! When we got home early from leaving the dinner/hockey game outing with friends we had committed to on Saturday night - I dropped him off to start recovering and then drove myself to the grocery store and Culver’s where I picked up medicine for him, and snacks and a custard concrete mixer for me. Seriously, the things I endure…  This is supposed to be MY TIME. J Luckily – he now seems to be on the mend!

Um, terrible photo, but I felt like I needed proof to look back on that I was still workin' on my fitness...
And I don't usually hold that stupid chalkboard while I walk on the treadmill.

35 Weeks -- I look like a running back! Minus the slippers.

The past three weekends and all last week have been jam-packed with baby showers, lots of work events/meetings and various “final, life as I know it” get-togethers with friends and family. It’s been great, and I’ve felt very productive!

It seems like a really long time ago, but Jenn and Kendra threw a wonderful STL shower for me back on January 30 and then my mother- and sisters-in-law coordinated a lovely Truebe family shower on Sunday, the 31^st. After a short week at home, I headed up to Chicago for my Egan family shower the following weekend, which my aunts and cousins, Jess and Bridget, did such a great job in organizing – and I even squeezed in a trip to buybuyBaby and hit up a sale at Once Upon a Child with Jess and her littlest guy, Quinn. As part of the sale/promotion, I stuffed 15 gender-neutral onesie sleepers into a little flimsy plastic bag for $10 – boom!  

Hostess' with the mostess' -- STL Shower

Truebe Ladies Shower in Springfield

Egan Family Shower - my cousins and I will have kiddos that range in 9 months of age...
hopefully, they'll grow up to be good friends like we are :)

Our Muskie friends even organized a mini-diaper/Super Bowl party later that weekend, which was so sweet and thoughtful of them to do… I’ve said it so many times – but Adam and I are SO lucky! We couldn’t be more grateful.

The following weekend included a trip to the adorable town of LeClaire, IA to reunite with my grad girls at a beautiful spa, where I was treated to a prenatal massage and facial. Lena purposely coordinated a non-traditional-type shower – we were really there just to spend the day together and enjoy the pampering – and it was a perfect way to wrap up my shower series! Can’t believe we didn’t get a pic together L

After getting clearance from my doctor the Friday before, I headed for Ursa then St. Louis for my last workweek in the office last week, and as I said – it was very hectic, but very productive. When I wasn’t hustling to meetings and awards events, I did my best to eat and not-drink-booze-but-water my way around the city, getting together with all of my faves and doing what I could to spend some QT and get totally caught up on all of the biz before I go on hiatus.

Strangely enough, last Friday was the first time I’ve felt really and truly BAD during this whole pregnancy… I did not sleep well in the hotel at all the night before – I was up with a terrible headache, my hands and ankles were swollen (CANKLES!) and heartburn was plaguing me. When I finally got to the office in the morning – where it was a balmy ~70 degrees and all I had packed were sweaters – I was a sweaty, nauseous beast and felt on the verge of barfing for a good couple of hours. To add insult to injury, I had to attend an important client meeting somewhat last-minute, which had my anxiety and hormone levels raging…. Ahhhh! Needless to say, I was very happy to finally get home to Iowa, get officially unpacked (which I feel like I haven’t truly done in months) and enter into what we’re allegedly gauging will be the last 3 weeks of nesting.

I say that with a grain of salt because my 37-week appointment yesterday has me quite freaked/excited/terrified/in a state of wonder… we actually went in for an ultrasound that my doctor requested after measuring me last week and determining that I still seemed to be on the “small side of normal” – she thought it’d be good to have my growth/fluids checked. Well, as the technician is checking on everything from the inside – he starts throwing out little fun facts like, “37 weeks, huh? You’re looking closer to 39 weeks to me.” You should have seen my face. I’m sorry…. WHAT?!?

He then dropped the ol’ 8 lb baby bomb on me – again, I look at Adam in shock/horror. I’m sorry…. WHAT?!?

And finally – upon recalculating my due date, he thinks we may have a baby by March 3^rd instead of March 13^th.  That is next Thursday... I’M SORRY… WHAT??!? 

Before having a massive, yet joyful, panic attack, we went over to meet with and get checked out by the doctor – and she provided an attempt at a calming reality check – ultrasounds at this stage don’t tend to be super accurate. They have a 2 lb plus or minus range, and dates are somewhat obsolete, too. So, regardless – she didn’t say that he was right or wrong… it’s really just a gamble at this point – Truebe Tyke can come at any time! Which is super hard for me to process… as an organized, tipping-towards-slightly-OCD-type person – I work well with a deadline – I always have. It feels irresponsible and risky to not have control over when our little dude or dudette will be joining us… but it’s also so exciting. Like livin' on the edge! 

I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions pretty frequently the last couple of days, which is also causing me to really wonder if I'll make it 18 more. And those are the freakiest things to experience... it's literally like your uterus is shrink-wrapping around the baby as it contracts. I was sitting there on Sunday, in the midst of one, and I get Adam's attention to look over and see this drastic round bulge showing on the upper right side of my stomach - I think it was the baby's little rump - which the doctor said just happens to be the perfect position for him or her to be in to prepare for exit...

Sidenote: my mom is on the verge of a meltdown with all of this talk of me giving birth earlier than anticipated because she’s in Florida with family until March 2^nd. She literally told me on the phone last night to keep my legs clamped and closed tight until she gets back. Really, Carol?? J

And although I keep saying that I feel like I'm not totally ready - most of the important things around the house are actually done - and the nursery looks really great. I'm so happy with how it's turned out!

Once he or she arrives, I'd like to do a little initial sign or decal above the crib.

I found the perfect outer frame for this sign to make sure it stands out from the wall color!

The dresser/organized diapering area - and it's tough to see with the glare, but I love my wonderful
celestial song lyric prints: 

Here Comes the Sun, Little Darling
Fly Me to the Moon
Look at the Stars, Look How They Shine For You
Baby, You are the World
(Carrie - it turned out so beautiful - thank you thank you!)

As much as I complain – which I really try hard not to do that often – I’ve been telling Adam the last few weeks that I think I’m actually going to miss being pregnant when all is said and done. I mean – don’t get me wrong – as I’ve previously made clear, there are significant things that I really miss and/or desperately dislike about living in this stage of large life. But there really are a lot of decent perks too… For example, I have come to enjoy having a free pass to many things (eating often, napping, leaving parties early if I want to, etc.) – and I have found that people (strangers and non-) just seem to be generally nicer and friendlier to pregnant people. I can’t tell you how much more frequently I get smiled at while out and about, randomly complimented, chatted up and asked questions, and just seem to have an overall higher frequency of pleasantries coming my way. Last week, I got a free room upgrade at the hotel, just for being noticeably with child – I mean, seriously… sometimes, this pregnancy thing rules!

And even though coming to grips with gaining ~25 lbs. has been hard for me, I don’t appreciate that I can’t move with the swiftness I once had, and I still refuse to ask for help like I know I should (must be the feminist in me) – I’ve actually been super sappy lately about loving and appreciating this experience and reveling in everything that it’s worth.  I’m totally going to miss feeling him or her jump around in there all the time – even though it’s starting to feel more like internal physical abuse. And I’m just so happy and grateful that I’ve been lucky enough to have a generally enjoyable and pleasant pregnancy.

Speaking of sappy… I’ve been doing a lot of calling out the “last time” we’re going to be able to do certain things (so dramatic) – and I’m pretty sure it’s highly annoying to Adam. I’m pushing for a dinner date night sometime this week, because we never know if it could the “LAST ONE” before baby. Even ridiculous household things – like I washed all of the bedding on Sunday because it might be the “LAST TIME” I do that before the baby. Murph went to the vet yesterday too for a check-up/butt glands/nail trim day of torture – because it’s probably the “LAST TIME” I can run up there freely and take care of that before the baby comes. Seriously, I realize I’m kind of acting like a crazy person, but the only thing I can attribute it to is an intense, hormonal need I feel to accomplish these tasks. It's like I've got Donna Summer playing in the back of my mind at all times.

Now – what I’ll do my absolute best to avoid doing is making this my LAST BLOG POST! I’d love to keep it up and let everyone know how we’re doing as a family of 4 – I’m just seriously not sure how much time I’ll have available to me at first – because I’m fishin’ in the dark here, folks. But, we WILL figure it out!  However, this really might be the LAST POST before Double T shows up… so to summarize:

We are so completely excited that I can barely stand it, but I won’t lie and say I’m not extremely scared about labor and delivery. I just hope and pray that everything goes okay, and I can handle it… whatever comes.

What I am positive about is that I won’t be able to handle the level of emotion on the day of – but I feel like that’s acceptable – I mean, I cry at The Bachelor these days, so of course I’m going to be severely overwhelmed at the birth of our child. I would love it if you guys would say a prayer, make a toast or send positive thoughts our way… hopefully, the phone/text tree efficiently takes effect when the time comes – and we’ll do our best to share any news or updates along the way.

Thank you so much in advance for the support, our dear friends and family – next time we talk, I might have reproduced. I might be a Mom. I’m sitting here shaking my head, tearing up in disbelief, and smiling.  And the kid just jabbed me for it – deep breath... time to go grab a snack.  

MY LOVE TO ALL!!

XoXo

A Farewell Tribute to Tanya

January 28, 2016

This Saturday is January 30^th, which – as nerdy as this sounds – is a date I’ll forever remember from my younger days as when Adam and I officially started “going out” in the year 1999.  So I guess you could say it’s our anniversary of sorts! And that phrase "going out" always cracks me up when thinking about it… because it’s the 90s kid’s version of “going steady.” When I told my dad in 4th grade that Bryce Burke and I were “going out” – which consisted of our friends whispering secrets to one another as we ran around during recess and maybe strategically and awkwardly holding hands while we sat next to each other at the school assembly – TK hilariously replied, “You are 10 years old, ‘Tune – you ‘aint ‘goin’ nowhere.”

My first prom with a boyfriend - sweet hairdo's on both parts.

Nonetheless, it’s been 17 years since my official union with Adam Truebe – and I’m grateful all the time that I worked up the nerve (with the assistance of Boone’s Farm Snow Creek Berry and probably a couple Natural Lights) to profess my love to him on New Year’s Eve our junior year of high school.  Let’s act like you didn’t read that, Mom – I was an angel in high school! And try to remember that in approximately 44 days, we’ll be adding what’s sure to be an adorable and feisty member to your brood of grandchildren…. And we owe it all to responsible underage drinking. Hahaha…

Young and in love- and surely not on our way to a party at Woodworth's Farm.

Speaking of alcohol consumption, it’s a topic on my mind and in my conversations quite a bit these days, since I have been abstaining from the sauce for over 236 days now. And I’m honestly surprised that I don’t miss it as much as I thought I would. Don’t get me wrong… I get very jealous when 5pm on Friday rolls around and I can’t have a seasonal beer or glass of wine to ring in the weekend. But it’s not something that just KILLS me… in fact, this lady at the airport a few weeks ago made a comment about boozing that frankly made me sick (and I don’t think it’s just me) when she began chatting me up about being pregnant and not drinking, etc. She told me that when she was pregnant with her first baby, she missed alcohol so much that she would just sit around and smell the bottle of tequila to get her by. You should have seen my facial expression. Come on, lady! That sounds like it might be a more serious, personal problem to me. But to each their own… do whatcha gotta do, right?

I still wear my Urban Chestnut shirt. And it's official - what once was an "innie" is no longer.

 Now see that’s my way of reeling back on the judginess… I feel like remaining sober and not being able to participate in the fun and debauchery of life as it was before becoming impregnated has caused for me to have maybe a bit of a sharper edge these days. And I’ve heard from several gal friends who’ve had children relate to this… without the cushiony cloudiness of a few drinks in your system, many social outings are a little bit different… slightly more difficult. I feel like I’m honestly not that excellent of a conversationalist without the help of a cocktail or two… especially when interacting with friends who I may not see all the time or don’t have super close relationships with. But pre-pregs Annie… man, I felt like I ruled at the social situation! And that’s typically where and why things could get out of hand for me… I’m always having so much fun, talking to people, making jokes, telling stories, playing games, dancing, etc. that I don’t keep a very close eye on exactly how MUCH I’ve had to drink… and that, my friends, is typically when Tanya makes an appearance.

Most of my friends know this person. She was officially named and inducted into the group in late college/early grad school – but that by no means, is an indication of her maturity or knowledge level.  She’s the alter ego that takes over my body, mind, mouth and spirit when I’ve passed the point of no return while drinking – and she’s the worst. The grad girls know her well - she was officially on tour and made regular appearances from 2004-2006, which were not my proudest or finest years. Interestingly, many of my friends love her – probably because she can occasionally be the source of a lot of fun, slight danger/excitement and generally precarious situations when we all get together. Jenn and Squires, who know Tanya quite well and seem to be the only ones who tend to be present when she has risen from dormancy in recent years, claim to enjoy her company. Coincidentally, I (Annie) hate Tanya’s guts. I often tell people she's not invited or welcome at parties, and I don’t miss her one bit while I’m in this stage of abstinence. And Adam’s opinion of her? Maybe worse than mine.

Whether she’s getting a little mean or combative, getting lost, getting clumsier than usual (wet noodle), getting sick, getting sleepy, or getting escorted out of adult establishments… she’s an unfortunate facet of my personality that I truly hope officially deteriorates from existence. And you know how people say that your true selves come out when you're drunk or that drunk people are more honest? Dear God, that is not the case for me... Tanya is full of spit fire, snake piss and usually dirty, rotten lies! Sure, I might grow to miss her, at times. But all of these characteristics are ones that I am packaging up and preparing to seal with a goodbye kiss with the reality that I am becoming someone’s mother… Someone who is responsible for another. Tanya can’t handle that level of adulting. It’s time.  I know what you’re thinking, girls… the only exception where I’ll entertain the allowance of letting her emerge again is maybe a future Magical Mystery Tour where all children/offspring are at least 100+ miles out of sight. J And I say all of this with the hopes and dreams that I’ll figure out how to fully wrangle her, which I’ve been unsuccessful at doing for over 10 years now. Another TK quote after a particularly rough night where Tanya came out at a family wedding and I was seriously suffering the next morning (another disastrous side effect to her presence):

“Dammit, Annie – don’t you know your limit?”

“No, Dad, I don’t. If I did, why would I blow right past it every single time?!?”

All in the past, my friends… all in the past. Fingers crossed!

Truer words...

Now, I have found a way to still have fun the last 7.5 months without booze… and its all the better to be rid of the hangovers. Participating in a bunch of enjoyable get-togethers, including the 2 weddings in which I was a bridesmaid sort of demanded that… and I gladly accepted. It's like rising to a challenge! I’ve danced sober (seriously, that’s really hard though) – I’ve even sung karaoke with zero drinks to help me (thanks, Carrie). I consider myself to be a naturally fun person, in general, but being pregnant in social/drinking situations is tough… a bit isolating in a way… you question a lot about your behavior/reactions, etc. when you don’t totally feel like yourself or in your complete comfort zone… I’m lucky to have friends who bring out the best in me though, and I’m looking forward to what my new future looks like – and how my definition of fun changes. I was relieved and proud to have one of my Muskie friends, Kristen, tell me after one of our first times hanging out that she thought I was really fun… she said she can’t imagine what I’m like when I actually can drink. I’m really excited and looking forward to having a few beers (not 10) with her, come end of March! J

Okay, now that my rant over boozing and Tanya is over – an update on how things are going in he life and times of a 33-week pregnant Annie: we’ve been doing MAJOR work in the nursery – and it’s looking so great! I’m still thinking through a few finishing touches – but I love how it’s coming together, and I’m so excited about it. And it’s perfect timing, in my opinion – because I’m smack in the middle of a six-shower series over the next 4 consecutive weekends. My extremely generous and lovely family and friends are going to be seriously aiding in the stocking of the baby’s room and the rest of the house with everything we need for his or her upcoming arrival… we are so grateful!

So excited and happy with this... my first attempt at chalk paint!
And I've already started putting some of double T's little clothes in the drawers. 

His or her crib for right now.

We reupholstered the hope chest that I've had since I was a little girl.
Still picking out new hardware... and we're going to hang that sign on the wall above.

We pulled the trigger on a glider for the nursery.

First up on the shower schedule was with my hometown girlfriends and Kayser family ladies last Saturday – and it was so nice… adorable decorations, delicious food and wonderful company. 

My UHS gals :)

My Paradowski work girlfriends threw me a brunch shower on Monday after I trekked to St. Louis for my second-to-last work week in the city – and my boss was able to attend in person and then promptly went into labor herself that evening and gave birth to her 2^nd baby boy.

 Which really got me thinking/wondering/worrying about how delivery is going to be for me… and I’m honestly SUPER nervous about it. Adam and I attended our first free birthing class last week, offered through the hospital – and it was an experience, to say the least. They showed videos of various deliveries and pain methodologies. Adam was a little traumatized – and truthfully, so was I! I was watching through my fingers when the actual births were happening – which is exactly how I looked almost the entire time while watching The Revenant. And yet it never failed, whether it was the teen mom who opted for no pain meds or the gross couple who chose the epidural but also labored in the birthing tub – and homeboy got in the water with his girlfriend while wearing his wifebeater – I still started crying every time the baby was born! If I’m tearing up over skanky strangers in a low-budget birthing film when the child enters the world, how am I going to react when it’s our very own precious Truebe Tyke?? It’s gonna be a mess… I don’t think either of us is prepared. And for the record – he said he was joking – but after viewing the video of the girl who chose no “comfort measure,” i.e. delivered a 7lb child au natural, Adam said he believed I could handle that. I told him he was nuts. End of that convo.

Hope he doesn't want to dump me after I verbally abuse him in the delivery room.

 Next up is getting together with my STL girlfriends this weekend (on Saturday) and then the Truebe ladies are showering me on Sunday. I’m actually pretty positive I’m not going to be able to fit everything in the Subie to get it home to Iowa. But that's AT's puzzle to decipher, so I'm just plain excited!

I am getting more uncomfortable on the daily… but still feel pretty good for the most part. I’ve got energy and motivation to keep moving, walking, etc. – but from what I’ve heard and/or read, I’m worried about when the hammer’s going to drop. Many sources have said that around 34-36 weeks, the bod really starts to shut down, save up and prepare for the big D. My lower back is already in some pain – I’m using a heating pad on my desk chair (seriously, old lady) – and I kinda feel like my spine is constantly in an arched state… probably due to the fact that I’m carrying something that weighs as much as a dense pineapple in the frontal area. And literally – I feel like my bump is as oblong and misshapen as a massive piece of fruit right now, too. No longer is it nice and proportionately round… I’m pretty sure I can feel and see a head, a hip, maybe a shoulder off to the side. There are body parts. And it’s probably starting to frighten people when I’m sitting quietly and the flesh over my stomach literally jumps from a jab or my shirt noticeably moves when the baby starts to rollin’ with the homies. Seriously, the lady next to me in church a couple weeks ago gave me a look.

Hotel livin' this week... big ol' bump + legwarmers

 Many of my apps, articles, etc. are now calling this the “home stretch” – how long do you think a home stretch actually lasts in technical terms? If I were running a race, I’d probably consider that to be the last 1-2 miles… and because I’m stubborn and just a tad competitive (ha), I’d always save a little gas in the tank to make sure I had enough stamina to look good crossing the finish line. Here’s hoping that analogy applies here! And please note that I fully expect my friends and family to go ahead and line the halls of the hospital when the time comes and I’ll waddle by, slappin’ high fives and stopping for water breaks every 4 steps. J  

#finishstrong